I start work on Monday. It has been 14 months since the last time I stepped into an office with the intention of staying for 8 hours. I’m pretty nervous.
I like to tell Sheena that I could go on in my current situation forever. She always wanted to start work right away, but I was fine to let things slide as long as possible. And she was worried, “you used to get pretty bored with too many days off, you know.” But we haven’t been bored once since arriving back in Seattle. There are obvious things that have kept us busy: moving into a new apartment, job searching, sifting through photos of the trip. But I think we’re also just damn good at filling up time now.
What we’re not good at is getting places on time. Well, we usually get there on time, but it’s about the most stressful part of our lives right now. We had a whole year without fixed deadlines or bedtimes, where we could afford to miss a bus because the next one came in 10 minutes and we lived a life without appointments. Now having dinner on the table in time to eat and make it to a show is a struggle… Starting work is going to necessitate a big shift.
Sheena told me recently that I tend to put things off until they’re absolutely necessary. That even though I know I will need something soon-ish, I’ll just wait until that moment arrives to purchase. Maybe this is fueling my apprehension with starting work. I certainly don’t need to start work yet (there’s still money in the bank). And maybe that makes me wonder what I’m missing out on by starting.
Someday soon I will need income. Letting my rational side prevail, I’ll be heading off that situation early and getting on a bus for downtown Monday morning. Here’s hoping that I adjust quickly. And here’s hoping that lessons I learned during this last year, like keeping things simple, slowing down the pace, staying positive, helping what can be helped and not stressing about the rest, and remembering to have a good time will get me through it all.